I thought it was enough- that the time had come to redeemed
I thought the salty ocean had all but dried up and there were no more tears to cry
I thought I heard the sound of the Messiah’s horn...
I thought I heard the sound of the Messiah’s horn...
But it was the the cracking of the flames at an auto de fe
I thought I heard the sound of the Messiah’s horn...
But it was the grumbling stomach of the starving man in the labor camp
I thought I heard the sound of the Messiah’s horn...
But it was the piercing gunshot of a soldier deep in the woods
I thought I heard the sound of the Messiah’s horn...
But it was the hysterical sobs of the young widow
I thought I heard the sound of the Messiah’s horn...
But it was the cry of the child stricken with cancer
I thought I heard the sound of the Messiah’s horn...
But it was the chattering teeth of the poor man left out in the cold
I thought I heard the sound of the Messiah’s horn...
But it was the rushing river of tears flowing from the lost boys eyes
I thought I heard the sound of the Messiah’s horn...
But it was the sigh of the older single who feels all alone
I thought I heard the sound of the Messiah’s horn...
But it was the noise of culture overshadowing the music of my soul
I thought I heard the sound of the Messiah’s horn..
But it was the dark cloud of confusion billowing over my heart
I thought I heard the sound of the Messiah’s horn...
But it was my silence that was loudest of all
The silence that hid in the depths of my soul
The silence that waited to be heard
I thought I heard the sound of my own heart beating to the rhythm of existence
But it was the sound of the Messiah’s horn...
Wow. This poem was really intense and so strongly written. I have chills up my spine when I read this poem. I love how you include national tragedies and times of horror and smaller scale/individual tragedies because it enables a reader to relate on a more global scale and on a more individual scale. You also did a great job in terms of what hard times you listed-in terms of the national hardships: even if someone is not Jewish, it's something they know about and can resonate with them even if they can't relate because it's not their own history and then obviously in terms of the more personal hardships: those are certainly ones that can pull at anybody's heart strings no matter their background or faith. Also really like how you turned it around at the end and the Messiah's horn is actually sounded. Nothing I would change about this one-fantastic job!
ReplyDeleteThis is incredibly heavy stuff! The rhythm and repetitive form made your writing even more effective and impacting on readers.
ReplyDeleteI am not sure how necessary the first two lines were, especially with the theme of "hearing the Messiah's horn," but I think that is up to the author's discretion.
I also want to commend you on your successful incorporation of abstract ideas thematically and descriptively: "But it was the dark cloud of confusion billowing over my heart." It might have been more "general" than the other "sounds" you describe, but it accomplishes its goal invoking the dark and distressing events that occur instead of Messiah coming.
I was also interested by your ending, which at first seemed like an overused idea: "the sounds of silence." But your last two lines caught most of my attention in the unusual direction your poem took: "I thought I heard the sound of my own heart beating to the rhythm of existence/But it was the sound of the Messiah’s horn." I am still not sure what these lines mean (I think that's a good thing because the meaning is definitely there if I think long enough), but my main question is what it means that the Messiah's horn has already been heard???!! :) Great job!!!
This poem is so powerful and really paints a very serious and eye opening message. It conveys the idea that we think we are so close to redemption but there is still so much to be fixed in the world. I like the bluntness and the urgency in the speaker’s words because it makes it that much more impactful. I liked how it is structured with the same line repeated over and over again. I am curious though about the meaning behind the final two lines when now the sounds are reversed. Overall, Great Job!
ReplyDeleteThis poem is so powerful and really paints a very serious and eye opening message. It conveys the idea that we think we are so close to redemption but there is still so much to be fixed in the world. I like the bluntness and the urgency in the speaker’s words because it makes it that much more impactful. I liked how it is structured with the same line repeated over and over again. I am curious though about the meaning behind the final two lines when now the sounds are reversed. Overall, Great Job!
ReplyDeleteWOW. This poem is so intense I love it. The repetitive phrase "I thought I heard the sound of the Messiah's horn" works perfectly with the message the speaker was trying to portray. In life there are so many "callings" for the Messiah but he has not come yet and you portrayed that beautifully. The line "But it was the grumbling stomach of the starving man in Aushwitz" can be shortened. I don't think you need to write "in Aushwitz." I think it makes the line too long and by keeping it out that line can relate to more people. Great job!
ReplyDelete